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Everything happens for a reason - Part 2

June 25, 2007

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me  that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore.

Whatever the case is, I am gone.

Your EX - Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to
West Virginia together!

Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed five hundred pesos from me that morning and your new silk boxers were P 500.00.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the lottery for Sixty Million Pesos, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Aman Pulo somewhere in Palawan. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Rich and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born CARL. I hope that's not a problem.

Change is good.

Posted by private at 10:56 am | permalink

Previous Comments

Thanks for visiting my site :-)

Posted by Prudence at June 25, 2007, 8:47 pm

Hahahaha

This made me laugh so hard! Hahahaha

Salamat for visiting my site :)

Happy Wednesday, Roy!

Posted by sasha at June 27, 2007, 10:10 am

haha! Is this a sad story or a funny one? It made me laugh actually.

Posted by CM at June 27, 2007, 7:58 pm

Oh my… This is hilarious! Gee Whiz! This made me laugh because I know someone who cheated on his wife and later regretted it… :-)

Posted by alvin at June 28, 2007, 6:07 pm

That’s what I called bad or wrong timing for ex-husband.

Now, where could I contact her?

Posted by Tom at July 1, 2007, 12:56 pm

That’s what you call WOMAN…hehehehe…

Posted by c5 at July 5, 2007, 8:26 am

hahaha omg this is wickedly funny! XD especially the part where carla used to be carl….thanks for dropping by my blog!

Posted by ching at July 5, 2007, 9:28 pm

kawawang ex-husband, hehehe…. Nice post, more to come :)

BTW, I added you up already. Ingatz!

Posted by misyel at July 6, 2007, 10:51 am

Hahahaha! I hope every breakup is like this! Hahaha! :-)

Posted by Sexy Nomad at July 11, 2007, 10:53 pm

Made my day. Haha!

Posted by Cai at July 12, 2007, 10:07 pm

love this! just what i need today. :)

Posted by grace at September 4, 2007, 2:23 pm

hahaha! nice post Ü

Posted by michiku at September 6, 2007, 1:33 pm

Hahahahaha!!! Astig! :D

Posted by sweetperceptions at September 20, 2007, 10:05 pm

hilarous! sakit tyan ko!!! hahahah..nice one!

Posted by marco at October 16, 2007, 9:28 pm

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